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February 13, 2012

Verizon: 'It's a Nightmare for an Old Person,' says SNL

Unless you don't watch TV, surf the Internet or read magazines, you have probably heard of 4G LTE. And, if you're an average American, you probably don't have any real clue of what it means, other than the fact that it is faster than 3G –whatever that means.

“Saturday Night Live” feels your pain, and put together a hilarious 90-second bit to spoof Verizon's acronym-filled commercials containing enough techno-babble to make you want to hold on to your Qualcomm.

Starring your vintage geeky, hipster Verizon salesman – played perfectly by Bill Hader – the bit satirizes Verizon's propensity for dishing out letters, stats and terminology with taking even a breathe to explain what LTE means. 

"Let’s say you’ve got the new HTC Thunderbolt, or even the LG Vortex," the salesman says. "You can hook up your HTC or your LG to your 4G LTE and you’ll have Verizon’s 4G LTE in over 190 cities and 118 airports."

Looking like my father after a chat with the local mechanic, the customer reluctantly asks: "So, it's faster?"

Without stopping to explain, the salesman dives back into a pitch filled with vagaries like footprint and tethering and enough acronyms to keep most people guessing. He then compares 3G to a small glass of orange juice.

After trying to explain to the salesman that he is not a small business owner who needs to run the company from his smartphone, the bewildered customer is only left with one question: "What if I drop it in the toilet?"

"It breaks immediately," the salesman quickly responds.

Before fading out, SNL introduces the carrier's new motto. "Verizon: It's a nightmare for an old person."

Funny stuff. Check out the clip below.


Beecher Tuttle is a MobilityTechzone contributor. He has extensive experience writing and editing for print publications and online news websites. He has specialized in a variety of industries, including health care technology, politics and education. To read more of his articles, please visit his columnist page.

Edited by Carrie Schmelkin



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